Friendship

As previously noted, I have been doing some self-evaluation of the friendships that I have and the way in which I maintain those friendships.  I have discovered that my expectations of friendships is unrealistic and that I may need to adjust those expectations; therefore, finding a greater sense of fulfillment within those relationships.

Let's assume we all agree that friendships are "supposed" to be mutually fulfilling and reciprocal as well as life-giving and respectful.  I would like to have some input in this from others.  Please comment here or via facebook.

What are 3-5 things you most highly value in your friendships?  (Give examples if possible)

Seven Days without Make-up

Not purposely and with little pre-mediation, I have gone a complete seven days without wearing any make-up and without putting any products in my hair.  Disclaimer: I greatly enjoy make-up, foo-foo girly stuff, doing my hair and dolling up.  I have a Mary Kay account, know what microdermabrasion is and get insane amounts of satisfaction from picking out eye shadow.  I point this out only as a point of clarification because I don't want any readers to get the wrong idea.  I did not abstain from my normal hygiene routine for spiritual, emotional or moral reasons.  I was on vacation. Seriously.

For the first time, in a really long time (maybe ever), I took a whole week off from work, did not check email or voicemail, slept in, exercised, ate food that was cooked at home, swam in my pool, served some friends by babysitting their baby for a few days, accomplished some things at home, started to read a book, STARTED our thank-you cards for the wedding.

Monday - I hung out with my sister Sara ON her birthday.  This has not happened since 1998 when I moved out of the house she and I grew up in.  We ate chocolate chip pancakes at Original House of Pancakes, shopped, drank Starbucks mocha-carmel-frappapapapapapa things, swam in our pool, and enjoyed just being with each other.  No make-up necessary.

Tuesday - I spent most of the day doing apartment improvement stuff with my husband and checking off things on our "to do" list.  We cooked dinner, made meal lists together, spent time casually sitting on our tiny loveseat together discussing the future, our children and the way we want to live our lives.

Wednesday - Benjamin and I spent the day babysitting the 14-month son of some great friends of ours.  We were able to spend a lot of time together discussing childhood related things, defining values, expressing anxieties and enjoying being off from work at the same time.  That evening we went to the champion softball games for my best friend and enjoyed the beautiful weather and leisurely pace of *mostly* non-competitive softball games.  No make-up necessary.

Thursday - Spent the majority of the day with the 14-month old again.  He's a joyful, easily amused, expressive, content little baby.  A great second day playing house.  That night, our friends hosted us to a beautiful evening of classical music and rich history at the Salute to America concert with a performance by the Detroit Symphony Orchestra at The Henry Ford. The weather was beautiful and the company was perfect. No make-up necessary.

Friday - My sister and I drove south to Richmond, Kentucky to celebrate her birthday and my parent’s 34th wedding anniversary.  We spent time on the wide open road, with the wind in our hair, tossing sweet cherry pits out of my sunroof, discussing the complexities of life, site-seeing the lightening-struck "Touchdown Jesus" that was once a familiar point of reference for our many trips to and from our second home. No make-up necessary.

Today, Saturday - Slept in, talked and laughed with my parents and sister for endless hours this morning/afternoon during our "coffee & toast" time.

This tradition started when my parents moved to Richmond over 5 years ago.  After a long drive on Friday nights after work, I would wake up late on Saturday mornings to my sweet mom and dad sitting in their bed drinking coffee, eating toast talking or listening to NPR.  I would climb into bed with them and drink coffee, eat toast and join into whatever conversation they were having.  It usually transitions to the living room, where there is a little more room to stretch out and this is where my parents would ask questions about job, school, and relationships.  This "coffee & toast" time is my favorite time when I am here, in my second home.  It is where I find a connection with the *inheritance* of having a healthy relationship, as an adult, with my parents.  Their wisdom flows freely, as it always has, and I have matured to a place where my heart receives their instruction, advice, council and input without reservation or defense. It is where my soul has been growing up.  

After "coffee toast" time, my mom and I went to get a manicure and pedicure and came home to cook "birthday/anniversary" dinner.  We watched some HGTV and speculated about fantastic design projects and homes we would buy...if we had all the money in the world. We finished up celebrations with our favorite "shower cake" that my mother makes for our birthdays.  No make-up necessary.

Tomorrow we'll depart, heading north to our homes.  I quite possible will not put make-up on again, until Tuesday morning when I return to work.  At which point I will fondly remember the time that was saved in not putting on make-up and instead spent with the people I love the most.