Togetherness

One of the many reasons that I married Benjamin was because I enjoyed doing things with him.  I wanted to live life with him and be a part of his daily experiences.  When we have a fight or are in the midst of disagreeing about something, I feel more alone than any combined lonely experiences when I was single.  I hate the distance that a fight or disagreement creates.

Recently, my mother commented on how she enjoyed the fact that we do so much together. This is actually something I've been criticized for by other.  Friends, family, service, fun, travel -- you name it, 90% of the time we are together.  Sure, we have are gender specific functions that we go to, our relationships that are independent and our occupational interests, or hobbies that generally have us going in different places and different times, yet for the most part, we do life together. I think that may very well be part of the reason that fights and disagreements happen.  If you are truly living life with someone, then that is where compromise, sacrifice and surrender occurs.  When we have different experiences, we bring different things to the relationship that the other person has not experienced the same way that you have.  We disagree on things, we work them out, we discuss, sometimes loudly and a with some hostility.  Hell, where human!

What I'm wondering is if the disagreeing is actually us just bumping down the edges enough so that we fit together -- really well.  I love my life with my husband more than any other experience I've had.  I will always see how this choice has created a greater version of me. I hate the disagreements, the distance it creates and the loneliness that I feel.  These are the times when we don't quite fit together, however, I think that is actually the part that makes it better.  We change and mature more with each passing day.  It is true that I love him differently today than I did when we first met or when we first started dating or when we got married.  What has not changed is the fact that we are here, for each other.  We are a team. Team Hoskins.